SO THE OTHER DAY I TOOK A LOOK at the search terms that bring people to my blog. “Probably,” I thought, “a diverse range of topics attract my readers – philosophy, history, literature . . .”
Wait a second … What? Sexy Jasmine? Disney sex? THAT WAS ONE POST.
So I looked at the search terms from the day before:
OK. Well, maybe this is a recent phenomenon. Maybe there’s an explosion of interest in eroticised cartoon characters. Disney porn. It’s like . . . softcore Hentai. I get it.
… What the Hell? I’M A RESOURCE FOR DISNEY PORN. I pulled up the statistics for all time:
Don’t look at me.
Thank God there’s “sweaty balls” in there. And “boogers.” Sweaty balls and boogers are saving me from being a straight up Disney porn website. Throwing in some variety. A bit of class. So that when I go to that job interview, and the man behind the desk asks me: “So it says here on your CV that you have a blog which is a popular source of Disney porn,” I can say, “ACTUALLY, it ALSO features sweaty balls and boogers.”
You know what? Fuck it. I am what I am:
P.S. I love you Jasmine.