NOC THE BELUGA WHALE sounded exactly like a human. A human who has swallowed a kazoo and is completely drunk-off-his-ass wasted:
I can’t listen to this without visualising a man staggering home from the pub banging into streetlights and singing, his hat held out in one hand saluting an invisible audience as he tap-dances and jigs his way down the footpath. Listen to it again and imagine with me.
Captured by Inuit hunters in 1977, NOC lived in captivity until passing into drunk Beluga afterlife in 1999. Beluga whales have often been noted for their mimicry, but Noc’s vocalisations were particularly human. According to Sam Ridgway, from the National Martine Mammal Foundation, “They were definitely unlike usual sounds for a [beluga], and similar to human voices in rhythm and acoustic spectrum.”
I imagine there are a lot of false alarms, where handlers think that their whales/dolphins/whatever are using human speech:
“Eeewaeeepeeneep totally said her own name the other day. We were all shocked. I turned to my colleague and I was like ‘Did she just say Eewaeepeenoop or Eewaeepeeneep?’ He said it was Eewaeepeeneep FOR SURE.”
But NOC was the real deal.
Now watch this beluga whale dancing to a mariachi band:
But most of all, this: