I’m trying to find the words to describe this girl without being disrespectful
The first thing to note is that perhaps it shouldn’t be that hard a task. The second thing to note is that this song is not about a fish.
I had a heated argument with a friend about this. I swore black and blue that in the chorus, Akon sings “a sexy fish.” Listen to it. I challenge you. Tell me you don’t hear it. This made me kind of excited about the song. Much like a song about bees, it was unprecedented – a pop song about a fish. It created an image in my mind with which I was loath to part.
Picture it. It’s a stormy night. Rain clouds light up as thunder booms. There’s a small wooden boat being tossed about on the waves. In the boat, Akon struggles against a monster of the deep. Sweat beads his brow. His knuckles are white, the fishing rod held in an iron grip. The waves are exploding around him, slapping against each other and shooting spray up into the air. Akon sits still, all his concentration on the rod in his hands, like a meditating Buddha. The silent battle rages. You know what comes next. With a final heave, Akon wrenches the fish out of the ocean, up over his head, and slams it down onto the wooden slats of his rickety fishing boat. His eyes widen in surprise.
The fish. It’s . . . sexy.
Damn. A sexy fish.
What was it about this fish that Akon found so sexy? I don’t know. I didn’t write the song. What drives any man to write an ode to a fish? Nothing, normally. It’s a fish. But Akon saw something – something that no-one else could see. Perhaps it was the sensual, puckered lips. Perhaps it was the soft, delicate gills, opening and closing seductively in the lashing wind and rain. Sometimes, on a boat, a man gets lonely. There are plenty of fish in the sea. Perhaps it was just the right time at the right place. In the end, all we know is that the fish was sexy. This was the sexiest fish anyone had ever seen. There was a tuna that was pretty attractive once, but it didn’t have that same je-ne-sais-quoi. Akon stands in his little boat, in awe of the glistening body before him. Waves collide and foam rushes up over the side of the boat and covers the fish, leaving it glimmering. Akon falls to his knees, mesmerized. He lifts his head. And he begins to sing.
And that’s how I thought this song was written.
Thanks for nothing, Akon.